Name: Unstoppable Confidence with Heather Monahan
Uploaded: 2025-10-23T18:16:15.001Z
Duration: 1 h 44 s
Description: Unstoppable Confidence with Heather Monahan

Transcript for "Unstoppable Confidence with Heather Monahan": Hello. Hello. And welcome, everybody. I'm so excited for today. You have found our webinar on unstoppable confidence, and this is a oh my god. This subject is just it's so near and dear to my heart, and I'm really, really excited about the speaker we have for you today. So welcome to all my GirlsClub alum. Internet high fives, ladies. I'm glad you're here. Gentlemen, I'm really glad that you're here too. If you've never been to anything with GirlsClub or associated with this before, welcome. I'm gonna walk you through a little bit about who we are and what we're doing before I introduce the great Heather Monahan. Alright. I'm just gonna wait thirty more seconds for a few more people to join us, but I'm super glad that you're here. Why don't you start warming up the chat because I love getting the side conversations going, and I'll be manning the chat along with Cameron Hawkes in the background. So why don't you chat by telling me what city you're from? And if you are new to GirlsClub and never heard of it, give me a zero. If you are from generation one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, you know what number to put in there. I'm gonna get it started as well. I'm in Phoenix, and I am one through seven. Hi, Jen. I'm glad you're here. That's great. Cincinnati. And Iowa. I grew up in Cedar Rapids. I'm happy you're here. That's great. Hi, Lynn from Florida. Hey, Rick. Chi Town. I'm glad you're here. Oh, you guys are just gonna absolutely love Heather. I'm really, really happy to share this with you. This is great. Alright. I'm gonna get started, everybody. Let me actually introduce myself first. My name is Lauren Bailey. My friends call me LB. I have grown up in corporate America as a sales leader and an enablement leader, and I jumped out sixteen years ago to start my first company, Factor eight, that does sales training and management training. Then seven years ago started a passion project called GirlsClub, and the whole goal is to help get more women to the top in revenue organizations. And this program just has my heart and soul. Every year, we graduate about 50 women into their first management and leadership jobs. And ladies and gentlemen, we have women from generation one who are sitting in the sea level now. It is my honor and privilege to watch how quickly these women take off like rockets. So I'm really, really happy to be representing that brand here today. My third company is called Legacy Executive Club, and it is the home we created for the amazing mentors, thought leaders, role models, executives, and entrepreneurs who support other people, who are people first leaders. Like, Rick that you just heard me shout out has been a mentor for us. This is their community for senior executives and entrepreneurs where we help each other. Alright. So don't just take my word for it. I'm gonna put a couple quick quotes on the stage. We have, oh my gosh, pages and pages and pages and pages of these. Our most recent graduates from generation five actually stood on the stage and told some of their stories at our legacy senior executive retreat. There were plenty of wet eyes in the house, and my heart just about burst with pride. But I think our secret sauce to GirlsClub is that confidence building, and that's the webinar we're gonna focus on today. So let me tell you what we do in this program so that I can fit it in to make it make sense. Our goal is to help get more women promoted into that first line management position. It's not the glass ceiling. It's called the broken up. And we find that when women take the risk to get that first job, they realize, I've got this, and then they take off and the rest of their careers are on fast forward. We do that in our five month certification program, and we built it like this stool. We talk about management competencies. Those are hard skills about how to do the job. Same skills that we teach existing managers in Fortune 500 companies. Leg number two is that secret sauce. It's the confidence building. It's about lowering our need for perfectionism and increasing our risk taking. We gotta raise our hand for those promotions. Right? And the third one's about community. Our women all get a mentor, a a male or a female, somebody who has been a revenue leader. And, of course, this amazing supportive community that has gone on for seven years. When you display that badge on your LinkedIn profile, I promise you, it's gonna help you get in somewhere someday and allowed you to help somebody else from the next generation someday. The stool is the spotlight and it's opportunities to appear on webinars or lists or all kinds of different things, and we love seeing people take advantage of that. If this is interesting to you or someone you know, and that, by the way, is the great big key, are the nominations. I just wanna share with you that 0% of our women feel like they're ready for management when they join us. Our job is to take you from 10% to about 90%. Because let's be honest, we never make it to a 100%. Right, Jax? I see you out there. Hi, Julia from generation one. This is so exciting. But here's the other great stats I wanna share with you. A 100% feel more prepared for the next level. Look at that. 96% would recommend to a friend after seven years. So this program works. It really is life changing. We run it at or below cost, and we want you to get involved. Hit that QR code. Like I said, at or below cost, we do this thanks to the love from our sponsors. And in 2025, we couldn't exist without Southeastern Printing, who do all kinds of amazing things. Our awards were made by Southeastern Printing. They sent wonderful little, like, goodie bags and makeup bags to everybody. So everything from swag to t shirts, they have been an amazing partner. So thank you so much for making today possible. Are we ready? Drum roll, please. Every year, we spotlight thought leaders in GirlsClub, and Heather Monahan has been at the top of our favorite list again and again and again. I think she won thought leader of the year in 02/2004, and we're so happy to share her with a larger audience. Now let me tell you just a little bit about Heather. Woo hoo. She's a keynote speaker. She's a two time best selling author. I have and love both of her books. She's an executive coach and entrepreneur. She's gone from the c suite to the global stage. And she shares proven strategies on leadership, on resilience, on sales, and, of course, my favorite, confidence. And what's really great is that she's lived it. She's she doesn't just talk the talk, but she's walked the walk, and the strategy she shares are tactical and things that we can use right away. So I hope you feel the inspiration. I hope you put tactical takeaways that fuel your growth, make the rest of your day strong, and save some of those questions. I'll see you again at the end. Heather Monahan, take it away. Hi, everyone. Thank you so much, Lauren. I'm just looking right guys, this is my first time on this platform, and I'm just trying to figure out where the PowerPoint is. Can you guys see the PowerPoint or just me? I'm looking for a note here. Yes. You can see it. Okay. Great. Yay. Alright. That's perfect. It's not letting me control it, so maybe I have to go over here. Okay. Before I go, I'm gonna go to the PowerPoint in one second. We are gonna have a q and a after this. I'm gonna go through a bunch of slides right now talking about creating confidence in your life and some key steps that you can take that I think are gonna help you a lot, and then we'll go to live q and a. So just know this, there are no bad questions, only bad answers. I promise I will keep the bad answers to a minimum. An opportunity to create confidence is raising your hand and asking a question. So I will challenge you to do that today for sure. This is about you and adding value to you. So, again, no bad questions. Okay. I'm gonna go over here to the presentation. Okay. I can't see you anymore. I cannot see the messages. So, Lauren, I'll refer to you on that. If you guys have any questions, drop them in there. I'm sure Lauren will get my attention. Okay. So I wanna give you a quick little background on me. I grew up four I don't know if there's anybody out there that grew up four. I had a lot of shame around that, from a young age and carried that shame with me all through corporate America and, didn't really start growing into my confidence until I started claiming my shame and putting it to work for me. So that is one of my biggest hacks around creating confidence in your life is whatever shame you're carrying, start shining a light on it because you can either claim your shame or it will claim you. When I started doing that, I started stepping into my power and pitching myself for jobs that didn't exist and landing them even though everybody told me that I could not do it. I, you know, just started moving forward, stepping into fear and choosing to see fear as a green light that means go and go faster, made it from salesperson in radio into the proverbial c suite and was named one of the most influential women in radio in 02/2018. And a month later, I was fired from the company I had worked for for fourteen years when the CEO I reported to became ill, and his daughter replaced him. Anyone out there ever had a female villain in their life in corporate America? I'm sure that you have. Right? I'm sure not alone on this one. So I was fired. I'm a single mom. I had an eighteen month non compete, non solicit, which meant I had to leave the industry that I was an expert in and start over as a rookie and beginner somewhere having no idea what I do. I wanna share a couple of quick tips for you that I put into motion that helped me not only with my confidence, but really move forward in business after being fired. So one of the things I want to know first and foremost is sometimes you need to start understanding that you're not being rejected. You're being redirected to something so much bigger. So, again, it's not rejection. It's redirection. I didn't know it at the time when I was fired. I definitely didn't I felt like I was getting rejected. But the reality is it forced me out of a comfortable zone I had been in for fourteen years, and I wasn't growing. And so I truly believe that God, the universe, however you choose to see it, that God really redirected me to something so much bigger than I was destined to do. I'm destined to be here with you today. I'm destined to write books and launch my podcast and speak on stages and speak life into people, and I'm so much happier now working for myself. Although I did not know it that day. Right? So, again, it's not rejection. It's redirection to something so much bigger for you. So I, took that opportunity after getting fired to go under a weighted blanket and basically panic, not knowing what I was gonna do. And after twenty four hours, I noticed nobody was contacting me. I posted on LinkedIn. PS, if you're not on LinkedIn, get on it now. That's where 90% of my business comes from. I got booked in Saudi Arabia three times from post on LinkedIn. Get on LinkedIn and elevate your personal brand and profile today. So I posted on LinkedIn. I've just been fired. If I've ever done anything to help you, I need to hear from you now. That post went viral, and lots of people told me to take it down because they thought it was a bad look for me. And that's when I made a really good decision. I I checked in with the one voice and opinion that really matters, and that's your own. And I thought I don't feel like I did anything bad. I didn't steal from the company. I didn't hurt anyone. I did a great job, and the lady didn't like me. I'm gonna keep that post up, and thank goodness I did. It landed me on the Elvis Duran show. I walked into that show not knowing what I would talk about, feeling very, very scared, but choosing to see fear as a green light that means go and go faster. Halfway through that show, that man spoke life into me and told me, you are obviously writing a book. I really wasn't. And anyone out there ever have a super smart sibling, or am I the only one? I was the social one. She was the smart one. I never really thought about writing a book, but I decided to take that opportunity and that life that that man gave me and own it and rock it. And I said, you're right, Elvis. I am writing a book. And I gave myself a deadline and held myself accountable. I said, it will be out in five months. And, again, anytime we gotta state our goals, we need to write them down. We need to hold ourselves accountable and give ourselves a deadline. Those that deal in generalities seldom succeed. Those that deal in specifics seldom fail. So I go I got on the plane. I googled, how do you write a book? It said write, and I was newly fired. So I had some free time. I wrote. I wrote my first book, confidence creator, having no idea how it would do and ended up doing really, really well at Trump Donald Trump for number one on the business biography list, and I have the screenshot to share that. But the bottom line is this. A lot of great things happen and a lot of challenges happen during that time because I had no idea what I was doing. What I've learned is when everything is uncertain, anything is possible. And the more you are your number one advocate and cheerleader, the more success you're gonna have, the more you're gonna attract great people and opportunity into your life, and the more you start stepping into what you're really meant to do. So just go bigger. Just believe in yourself. Fire the negative people from your life like I fired that woman that actually thought she fired me. I fired my number one villain, and that's when my life completely changed. But to run it back for a minute, people thought I was, you know, at the top of my game in corporate America. I just really wasn't feeling it. So whenever you're not feeling it, listen to you and know there's something bigger out there for you. There's a room where you're invited to that you're gonna grow and and flourish in. Don't settle for what someone gives you when they're not treating you well. We do not settle around here. We are better than that. It only takes one person, one opportunity, and one decision or ask to change everything in your life, and and that's really what I've seen happen in mine. Okay. So to the PowerPoint, I will take you through this. And, again, we're gonna, end with fifteen minutes to go through live q and a with you guys and hopefully add some value to you and and answer some of your questions. So finding your voice is a it's a big thing with women. Right? And I have a podcast. I do a lot of, professional speaking now. And it's funny. People always say, like, how did you find your voice? We truly overcomplicate that. Right? Like, when when you think of little kids just learning how to talk, they just do it. Right? Just start channeling your inner baby. Like, don't get so caught up in, what will I say? Just start realizing that that perspective that you have, that unique value profit that is you is valuable, whether you're the youngest person in the room or the oldest. I hear it from both sides. You know, I hear young people say, I can't speak up in a meeting. I don't have any expertise yet. Well, the fact that you have this incredible vantage point to understand technology and see things from fresh new eyes that we're not seeing, you absolutely warrant that seat and you've been asked to be there. We need to hear from you. And then I hear on the flip side, older people say, I'm phased out. I'm too old. I've been around too long. I I have nothing to add. And it's funny because they're both looking at the other person with rose colored glasses. So I'm gonna ask you this. Put those rose colored glasses on you and start noticing the unique and valuable things about you. And I'm gonna give each of you a challenge to my unique value proposition, activity that I I love to do it myself. I would love for you to do it. And, really, what I'm gonna ask you to do is reach out to 10 people today, and I want you to send them an email or a text message and say, hey. What's unique, valuable, or different about me that I might not see or realize? I'm working on my unique value proposition, and it would mean the world to me if you could share how you see me through your eyes. You're gonna get the most incredible responses back from people. Take a screenshot of each of those. Save them in a file on your phone, in your photos called fam love or whatever you'd like to call it. Mine's called fam love. And anytime I'm having a bad day or I doubt myself, I go check-in with that file, and I remind myself that I'm usually the toughest one on me, but there's all this greatness that other people see within me. And when we start seeing it within ourselves, we start rising up, and then we can bring others with us. Okay? So that is don't get too caught up in I've gotta find my voice. I did that for a while, and then I just started speaking and just started talking off the cuff. Right? I don't have a script right now. And the more that I do that, the more real I can connect with people. Yeah. I make mistakes sometimes, but I'd rather be real with you because I want you to be real with the world too. Okay. So don't get too caught up in finding your voice. Know this that, using your voice matters so so much. I'm a share a quick story with you about Taylor Swift. This is wild. Do we have any Swifty fans out there? Please tell me that we do. I'm a huge Swifty fan. One sec. So when I was in the radio business, I, at first, was a VP of sales and an EVP, then a chief revenue officer. Early on when I was named VP, I was going to a large company event. It was our annual gala and awards dinner. And every year, we would call in an artist. Right? Because back then, radio stations dominated, and these artists would come for free and sing for us because they wanted us to support them, like them, and know, like, and trust them, and then play them on our airways. So in Watts Taylor Swift, she and her mother sit down next to me. She was adorable, super curly hair at the time, not the best skin. I'm gonna tell you real tall. But I was I I didn't really know who she was back then. She was still doing country. I'm not a big country fan, but she's a nice kid and her mom was incredible. And so they're sitting down next to me at dinner, and all of a sudden, the man gets up and starts roasting me. And I didn't know what's gonna happen, and he starts calling me the VP of cleavage. So I don't know if any of you have ever felt like this when you're being bullied publicly. I didn't know how to react. I wasn't feeling my most confident. I was doubting if I even warranted the position I was in in that moment. So I started making a joke out of it, kind of laughing when the reality is I want to cry or I want to stand up and and protect myself and say, this is ridiculous. Do not speak about me like this. I didn't do that, though. But Taylor Swift leaned over to me and said, why is he talking about you like this? And I said, I have no idea. And she said, what's his name? And I said, Danny. And she disappeared. And I looked at her mother scared, and her mother said to me, don't worry. It's Taylor. It's gonna be fine. And ten minutes passed, the roast ended, and the CEO took the stage. And he introduced this amazing artist, Taylor Swift. And Taylor Swift walked in, grabbed the mic, and said, Danny, this one's for you. And she had been sitting in the hall writing a song to roast Danny. And I learned such an incredible lesson that day. She decided doing the right thing and owning her voice was more important than why she had come there. She had come there so she could get played on more radio stations. Right? She was risking the chance of what if everybody there loved Danny and now hated her? It never once crossed her mind. She wrote that song because she saw someone doing something wrong, and she wanted to do what's right and own her voice for what's right, and she did. Wouldn't you know, she ended up getting a standing ovation for that song. Dani got up and gave her a standing ovation. Clearly, I did, and it worked out and, actually, it worked in her benefit. So the more you step into who you really are, the more you own your voice and do that right thing, the more those right doors will actually open for you even when it seems like the scary thing. And, thankfully, for me, Taylor was not afraid. Okay. So that's just an example that I love of owning your voice in difficult situations. Okay. So, as we talked about, we need to have a voice. You were given one for a reason. Right? Like, people need to hear from you even though you think they might not. I remember years ago, someone was asking me to talk about different topics, and I said, everybody's talking about those. They don't need to hear about that for me. Here's why everyone needs to hear about it from you and why you need to hear from me. I'm gonna resonate at a certain frequency, the certain background that some people will connect with. I promise you this, not everybody will connect with me. Right? Like, I'm not for everybody. I'm not vanilla, and neither are you. Right? Like, someone will say, you're not my cup of tea. Perfect. I'm a glass of champagne, baby. And those people will find me. But the only way they're gonna find your message and get the help they need from you is if you're willing to speak up, if you're willing to own that voice, if you're willing to put that post up. So I challenge you. Take that one step today to own your voice and know there are certain people that are only gonna connect with you. They are waiting for you right now. Okay. And next, if people hadn't found their voice, this is a great example. Right? Like, what if MLK had never found his voice? What if Sarah Blakely hadn't found her voice and never shared her story of how she started Spanx with nothing, $5,000 and a red backpack. Right? What if she still wasn't owning her voice on social, inspiring all of us? You could be that person, and it doesn't have to be in the most grandiose way possible. But if you make it about that one person you can help and stop making it about ourselves, that was a hard thing for me. I always would say, like, oh, you know, with my TED talk was, like, one of the scariest talks I ever gave. And I was getting a panic attack backstage, and I stopped myself and I said, I'm in my head about me. I'm thinking about me. I'm gonna make it about the one person thing in that audience right now that I could impact and help, and that person needs me. So I challenge you to do that same thing. Stop thinking about you and how you might make a mistake or not do it perfectly and show up for that one person you can impact because one person did that for you one day. And today's a good day to thank them for that. Okay. Moving on. Taking off the muzzle. Oh my gosh. In many arenas, right, people will say you shouldn't speak up or you shouldn't dress like that or you shouldn't do this. Here's what I want you to know. I sat on a team for over a decade that I pitched myself for a position on the board of directors. I warranted it. I should've gotten that position, and I kept getting told told no. Don't dress like that, Heather. Don't keep asking for things we tell you no to. Don't. Don't. Don't. Know what I found? That was a company that ended up firing me. I was never meant to be there. Right? A fish is meant to be in the water, not trying to climb up a tree. If you keep meeting resistance and being told no and that's not appropriate here, you're at the wrong company. You're in the wrong job. You're with the wrong team. And I promise you there is an arena and a company and an opportunity and a table that's gonna welcome you. And a great example of that is after I was fired, two years later, I landed my first paid board seat, and I've been with them for years. Right? I warranted a board seat, but I kept asking people that didn't want me to be there. So you're getting that same kickback over and over again. Pick your head up out of that industry, out of that company, and out of the opportunity, and start looking for and contacting people to move you to where you are meant to be because you are meant to be celebrated. Okay. Amplify your voice and bring it in the good. Okay. And we talked about these rose colored glasses. It's so important to see yourself through that lens of how other people see you. I'll give you a real quick example on that one. During the pandemic, I received a DM from a Harvard professor. As I mentioned, I was always the social one, not the smart one. And so for me, I really questioned why would Harvard wanna talk to me? So I decided I must be getting pumped by Ashton Kutcher. Right? And if you guys are too young to know that, I'm I'm not gonna take it personally. We're gonna move on from it, but, hopefully, somebody understands or remembers that show. Okay. Cut to I, I sent a DM back to him and I said, just out of curiosity, why would you want me to teach at Harvard? And he wrote back, because the majority of professors here are in their sixties. They're white males. None of them have been in corporate America real world experiences for years. You're a single mom that's leveraging social media to build a personal brand and have success. You can teach these kids something that we can't. And when he explained it to me with rose colored glasses on looking at me, I decided to take his rose colored glasses and put them on me as well. And I accepted the opportunity, and I showed up at Harvard and taught. And those kids needed me so bad. Yes. They can score better on SATs than me. Yes. They they're better at taking tests than me, but what I could show them was real world application, which they didn't have. They had mastered the textbook, but they hadn't been out in real life implementing and dealing with challenges and understanding how you can pivot and and pursue things in real time and leverage social media to your advantage. So, again, put those rose colored glasses on you. When you ask other people what that great thing is about you, when you do that unique value proposition exercise today, when you read those back, put those glasses on you, remember them the next time you're doubting yourself, and read those messages before you go in and go bigger. Okay. Tips and tricks. Give yourself great. Everyone starts as a beginner. Remember that. I got fired, and I had to start as a beginner. And one of the things I reminded myself was when I graduated college and started as a salesperson right out of college, I was at ground zero. Everyone told me I was gonna fail, and it was through hard work and putting the reps in that I found success. And I remember thinking, okay. If I did that back then, then I can maybe do that now. And I didn't know where I was going. I was just willing to step into that fear. We willing to step into that uncertainty and willing to move forward. So start leveraging past experiences. I also leveraged the past experience when I was in high school on my softball team. I didn't start off as a MVP or captain. Right? The only way to get there was to be practicing at nights and on the weekends. And when other people weren't putting reps in, I was. So I leveraged that experience from starting as a rookie to making it to the top of the high school team, and I started applying that to my business life. Okay. I'm fired. I'm starting over somewhere new today. But you know what? I found success in sales, and I started at the beginning. I found success in softball. I started at the beginning. You have too. You've had successes along the way. Leverage those success to be factual indicators that you will succeed again and come out on top as that most confident version of you. Okay. Don't compare yourself to me or anybody else. Right? That's the biggest thief of all joy. And it's funny I say this. My son's get 18, and he's giving a TEDx talk November 1. Shout out to my son. I'm so hype for him. And he's so not nervous and he's so not scared. And I said, well, then I want him to take it more seriously. I said, let's watch mom's TED talk right now. And we watched it. And as I watched it, I was like, oh my gosh. I was so nervous that day. I was telling him I was having panic attacks. And he was saying to me, gosh. I can't believe that. So it ended up being a good comparison for him because he's like, I don't feel nervous like that at all. And I said, well, then you're already ahead of where your mother was. But the reality is most people see social media and it all looks so perfect. You can see my TED talk and you're gonna say, oh, she wasn't nervous at all. The reality is the first sixty seconds of my TEDx talk, I don't even remember giving it. I don't remember being on that stage. That's how nervous I was. So don't take everything as, oh, it is so. Right? Social media is a highlight reel for a reason. We are promoting ourselves, promoting our brand, and promoting our business, but it doesn't necessarily mean that's the all the sides to that individual or that's the whole story. Right? If you would only see my TEDx talk, which is now a TED talk because it was promoted to TED, which is crazy because I didn't even know that was a thing, you might think that I was killing it and wasn't nervous at all. Now you know the real story. I almost passed out from a panic attack behind the stage. Use that the next time you see someone and you're like, oh, I I can't compete with this girl or she's so far ahead of me. Remember that story. We don't know what's really going on behind the scenes. We don't know how they're being propped up, and we don't know if we're seeing the whole story. So don't try to compare yourself when you don't have that information. Okay. Give yourself compassion and know this done will always be better than perfect. My first book has three mistakes, three in it, and I would always rather be the author of confidence creator with three mistakes in it knowing I've helped thousands of people versus being the person on her deathbed that said, oh, I had a book in me and I couldn't get it perfect. So I never I never put it out there. Done will always be better than perfect. Make it about the people you can help. Okay. What happens next and why it matters? Okay. Along the way, we know that, we're gonna face difficult situations. We know that we're gonna be told no. We need to understand that that is all just part of the progress. That's part of the growth. And the more you start seeing it as a game and start seeing it as an opportunity, the more fun you'll have with it. We are all in sales, and selling is helping. You're gonna either be sold to make your boyfriend dinner tonight or he's gonna be sold on taking you out to dinner tonight. Right? So in every exchange, you are being sold or you are selling someone else. Start having fun with that. Start embracing it and start stepping into it as the badass that you are. Right? And so the more you start doing that, the more the no's don't hurt. You start thinking, how could I overcome that? Start being the unique you, which is the different you, not the vanilla version of you. A great example of how I've done that in business is when I need to get a meeting with someone and I can't get it and I know this one person, if I can get to them, it will change my life, I send them a life size cutout of me with a note that says I'm a lot better in real life. When can I come in to meet with you? Right? Start stepping into what's unique and different about you and be original. Do not be vanilla. And the more you do that, the more you're gonna stand out. The majority of people are mediocre and general average at best, and they're fine with that. You are more than that. Start stepping into what's special, unique, and different about you and watch the doors that you unlock for yourself. Now we will face some difficult situations, as I did the day that I got fired. But what I've learned is this, when we show up as the most confident version of ourselves, we don't need to react. We can respond with all of the grace and class within us, and that will give you a true boost in confidence. When we react, we let other people control us, and that's not our thing. Okay. Confidence, personal branding, and sales. This is a massive trifecta. I see all three of these interchanging. You you already have a personal brand. Please start leaning into it. Please start holding the pen when telling the story of your life, and please start understanding that people do business with people they know, like, and trust. And you gotta show up online, show up on social media, and show up in a big way with who you are. Not me, but you own you, own your voice. That's what makes you unique, special, and different. For a long time when I was dialing my light down in corporate because I had that woman I was upsetting at corporate, I became a b rate version of myself. What I realized now is a b rate version of me is never really gonna win. You gotta let go of what other people are thinking. Let go of thinking, dimming your light makes other people brighter. It doesn't. The more you amp up your light and become that a version of you, the more those right opportunities will start showing up for you too, and you'll attract partners and businesses and clients like never before. Okay. Thirty day plan to increase your confidence. I want you guys all to do this. Map out the next thirty days just the same way that you would if you were going on a diet. So many women understand this, myself included. Right? So you would say, this is the weight I'm starting at. This is my goal weight where I wanna go to. I'm gonna weigh myself every day. Confidence is no different. On that day I got fired, my confidence was at a one, and I decided I wanted to be at a 10 in thirty days. So I set the intention. I wrote down the goal, and then I came up with this vision of what I would look like when my confidence is at a 10. You had a moment in your life when your confidence has been high before. Right? Maybe it was on this date with this boyfriend that you love. Maybe it was at the gym when you're feeling really good about the training schedule that you had. Maybe it's when you were doing really well at work. Maybe it's when you were doing charity work and helping others. Whatever it may be, get that image. Truly, like, take a picture of it. Find that picture and set that as your goal in in four weeks and thirty days and start tracking towards it the same way you would a weight loss goal. Get an accountability partner. There's plenty of people here that could be accountability partners for you. I have a free accountability partner. Oh, you're gonna hear my billing for one second. This is perfect. So I it will literally this is okay. Welcome. So there are always mistakes, issues, and flaws everywhere. My building is not liking us today. Okay. Maybe that was it. Okay. So back to our thirty day plan. So you're weighing yourself in on day one. You've got the goal. You've got the image, and you're gonna take action steps every single day. Oh, this is what I was gonna mention to you. Accountability. Go to my website, heathermonahan.com. There's a free tab called accountability partner. You can sign up for that. You'll get an email from me every single day for thirty days, speaking light into you and challenging you to go for more to build your confidence. Okay. So you get an accountability partner. You take the steps. You set the goal. Set the intention. You write it down and you revisit it daily. But one of the most important things is that you take action steps daily. And it can be small. Like, if you're nervous speaking to people, speak to someone in line at the grocery store. Challenge yourself these micro challenges. They do build momentum. They do compound, and suddenly, you'll start seeing yourself feeling, looking, and being more confident. One of the keys of confidence is getting negative people out of your life. If you've got negative people in your life, let them know you are fully committed right now, too busy, and do not have time for them. We are firing those villains. And the minute you start doing that, you start opening the door to positive people who are your supporters to start showing up for you. Stop apologizing. So many women apologize for everything. So when you stop apologizing, again, a thirty day challenge for you is instead of saying sorry, start saying thank you. Here's a great example. You show up late to a meeting. Instead of going in and apologizing to everyone and flipping out, go in and say, thank you so much for your patience. I'm ready to begin. And watch how the dynamic shifts in such a big way. Never apologize unless you're you're really, like, tripping somebody on the ground and didn't really mean to do that. Right? Okay. Then you're gonna wanna apologize. But unless it's a situation like that, I was at the gym working out at Barry's and I would notice that anytime I was grabbing weights, people were bumping into me. I was apologizing to them. Why would I apologize to someone else when they should be the ones apologizing? So from now on, what I do is I say, excuse me. There is no apology needed, and that is a challenge for you. Okay. Brevity is a superpower. Too often, women oh my gosh. Women are over explaining. I promise you this is like we're done with it after this one. They've got our attention. And everybody on GirlsClub. Oh, it's not a real fire alarm. Don't worry. Nobody's been hurt in the making of this video. We're all gonna be fine. Okay. So brevity is a superpower. Too often, women are over explaining, over explaining, trying to create this this long messaging so that people understand. You don't need to do that. Tighten it up. There's so many AIs out there now that will help you. I use Grammarly on my email. You don't need to overexplain. Tighten it up. Keep it short. And know this, brevity is a power and one that is appreciated by others. Okay. Take others off a pedestal. This is a really good one too. So when you elevate others, oh, they went to Harvard. They went here. They did this. You're putting yourself beneath them. I live in a world where I think everyone should be treated equal. I want my kid to do the same. So I challenge myself daily. I better not put other people on a pedestal or it's teaching my son that other people are better than some people. That's the wrong messaging. We are all equal. So if we wanna be treated as equal and we wanna treat others as equal, we can't put people on a pedestal. So stop doing that. Take them off. Allow yourself to see them coming off that pedestal and see us all as equal, and that's kind of world that I think we all need to live in. Okay. Things to stop saying. I'm sorry. We just talked about that. This might be a dumb question. I hear people say that all the time. No. Why is it there's no such thing as a dumb question. It doesn't exist. Right? So stop let's stop stop saying that. Forgive me for asking, but heck no. Not sure if this makes sense. These are just we're trying to soften the blow because we're nervous. Let's stop doing that and showing up instead as the most powerful version of us. We don't need to say these things. That's not fair. I have to do that. I can't do that. I should do that, or just, as in just wondering what you think about that. We don't need to soften these blows. We can own who we are, own our opinions, and own the badass version of ourselves. That's when you start getting promoted. That's when you start getting respect. And you know what? No one walks into, you know, business in that way or in that regard. But if you just start implementing a few of these different hacks, you'll start feeling more confident. People will start looking at you differently. You'll start looking in the mirror differently, and you'll start putting those rose colored glasses on yourself. And by the end of thirty days, you're gonna be confident. I promise. Okay. Things to start saying. I'm confused. That's one of my favorites. So often I have been in meetings and people will cut me off or speak over me or they'll start talking about one of my ideas as if as if it's their own. And I'll say, Jim, excuse me. I'm confused. Didn't I bring that idea up last week? Right. Powerful. You're not starting a fight with anybody. You're calling somebody out, but you're not doing it in a difficult way, but you're making it known. Do you know don't challenge me, my friend. You will lose. Okay. Help me to understand. It's another great way to do it. Right? So someone's being combative with you. I'm angry about this and that. Help me to understand. What what do you mean by that? Right? Again, we're not starting a fight. We're being very calm. Calm's a superpower. Another great line is tell me more. You want people to empty their glass to you to truly understand what is it that they're upset about, what are they talking about, and then also diffuse a situation that buys you time. And repeating back to people, Here's what I heard you say. I wanna make sure I heard you correctly, and repeat that. All these things are different strategies to help buy yourself time to allow you to remain calm and get them to empty their glass so you can understand what's really going on. Okay. Increasing confidence. Channel your inner Sasha Fierce. I love this. So Beyonce is, like, one of, obviously, the biggest artists in the world. And when I found out she channels her inner Sasha Fierce, which is this personality she's created because she gets nervous going out on stage because she cares. Right? So if Beyonce has to do it, why can't you and I? We can. Right? We can channel a persona of someone that you know. Channel me. Whatever you need your, most confident self. Channel channel your inner Channel whoever it is that that you need in that moment. When I go into a situation with my son where I wanna be calm and loving, I channel my inner girlfriend, Samantha, who is the sweetest mom and wife, and she's always so peaceful and kind and doesn't get amped up like me, I channel her in those situations. Right? See and envision that best version of you, and you can see that through other people until it ultimately becomes you. And my faith is a great way for confidence. My cornerstone on my confidence is rooted in faith, and, that's just one of my hacks I'll share with you. Okay. Focus on identifying your passion. I mentioned this earlier. A fish is gonna do a lot better in the ocean than climbing up a tree. Figure out what it is you love to do. And you're gonna say, well, I can't because my parents won't let me or this won't happen or I can't make money in art. No. Untrue. I used to say the same thing when I was in corporate America. Yeah. I get that I love speaking or I love doing that, but that's not how I make money. It wasn't how I was making money then. It is now. Right? You don't need to understand the bridge to get there. You just need to understand what it is you wanna get to and start spending time doing that. Start working on art. Start working spending time with people who are artists. You don't need to do it full time yet. We can start building that bridge along the way, but figure out that goal. Where are you most happy? Go back to your journals. Right? Listen to your inner voice. You know the answer. A lot of times we wanna say, I don't know what it is. You actually do know what it is. Maybe you're scared to actually admit it. So I'm challenging you. Admit it today. Okay. Increasing confidence. Okay. Being selfish is actually selfless. This is a good one for women. A lot of times women will say, I can't put myself first. I can't go to the gym. I can't do all these things that wouldn't be fair to everybody else. Wrong. Here's what I want you to know. When you start going to the gym, you start sleeping better. You wake up happier. Your kids are happier. You're that role model. They are feeling your energy and taking it from you. So the more you can invest in you and becoming that best version of you, hire that coach, hire the trainer, get the babysitter so you can go to the gym, do the things that you wanna do that make you the happiest, most energetic version of you, and watch a trickle effect affects everybody. Right? Everyone in your life will benefit from it. So it's not selfish to put yourself first. It's actually selfless. Okay. We talked about this, respond, never react. When we react to what someone says or does to us, we're allowing them to puppeteer us. So I remember that woman would always instigate me at work, and I wanted to tell her off. I wanted to be obnoxious. I wanted to embarrass her, and thankfully, I didn't. But I would go home and think about it. How would the most powerful version of me show up? I would show up with class and grace and calm as a superpower, brevity as a superpower. I would use those lines that I shared with you. I'm confused. Help me to understand. Tell me more. And when you start showing up and playing that game, you play to win. Respond. Never react to people. Things I know to be true, the minute you realize your own value, others will too. I used to complain I don't get paid enough in this company. They don't value me. Well, then if I really believe that, I should've left. These are the realizations I see and hold now. The longer I stayed there, the more they wanted to negotiate me down, the more they wanted to wear me down. I was somewhere that I wasn't being treated the way that I deserve to be treated, but the real problem was I was allowing for it. Never allow for yourself to be mistreated by anyone. Make it about others and about helping others. Your fear will disappear. Everyone's gotta be a beginner at first. Don't get caught up in that. It's actually a beautiful thing. You might end up being the best expert in the world. We don't know yet, but you gotta give yourself that shot to enter into that fear, that unknown, and go for it. Again, regrets, a terrible game to play. Don't allow yourself to play that one. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful gifts you'll ever give anyone, especially yourself. So work on forgiving yourself for past mistakes and understand everybody's gotta do that work. Super, super powerful. And the more you forgive yourself, the more you show up and love yourself and then can love others. Okay. Oh, that's a great prayer. It's the Ho'opano prayer, the Hawaiian prayer, all about self free forgiveness. Google it. It's like five sentences. And I did that for a month straight as one of my month challenges I gave to myself, and it truly made a difference and and allowed me to let go of upset that I had about decisions I had made in my past. Okay? And the more you let go of anger and upset, the more you bring joy and opportunity and the right people into your life. Okay. So that's your thirty day plan. You're gonna create confidence. You're gonna map out where you're starting from, where you're going to. You're gonna get the accountability partner. You're gonna take the action steps daily. You are going to build that confidence within you. You can absolutely do it. I've done it. And by the way, confidence isn't static. It doesn't just always stay here. Sometimes it's up high at the gym. Sometimes it's down low at work. Sometimes it's up high in a relationship and then that changes. That's all normal and okay. Understand that you're learning the process to continuously rebuild it when it dips down. It will dip down. It's part of a reality for anyone that's growing. And and the key here is don't stay in that comfort zone. To grow, your confidence is gonna dip. That's gonna come right back up and be stronger, bigger, and larger than ever. Okay. Questions for Heather. Yeah. We're going to we're gonna go to q and a. And, Lauren, do I manage that or do you manage that or do we know? And how talking hey. And in fact, you know what? Don't even share slides anymore, Heather. It's all good. Let's just stop our share. And, just another chance to thank our sponsors so much. That way we can both be on here together. Yay. No. We didn't even hear the building alarms. Like, I I could tell there was something going on, but we didn't even hear perfect. I know. Alright. I'm gonna start with a question, and then I'm gonna see what other ones come in to chat. So thank you, Amy, for getting us started. Here it is. I used to think that confidence was like you have it or you didn't. Right? And I knew I didn't. And I realized now it can be learned and that it changes every single day. So there are days I wake up and I just don't want to get the covers off my head. You know what I mean? Like, there's no way I'm making a sales call today because I feel like teeny tiny. Right? I know that you've had you talked about hacks in general to help us grow up, but what about that pivotal moment that you know what I mean? That crisis of confidence where you feel an inch thick. What do you do right then to try and turn it around? Yeah. I mean, there's a few things we can do. Right? Everybody is different. There isn't, like, a one pill fix for anyone, and different times call for different things. I have one of my girlfriends that I call. That woman will speak life into me like no one else. It is it's unbelievable. So she's she's like that pill for me. Right? So I'll call that one friend and say, I'm in a slump right now. I need you. What am I forgetting? Boom. Like, that once I hear that, I'm like, oh my of course, I'm gonna go kill it. Who am I kidding? Right? So have that one person on speed dial. You can call all the time. The other thing that I shared earlier is, you know, that UVP exercise. I always go back and read those messages from people that I save in my fan love. And I then I say to myself, Heather, if you have this impact on them, how can you not go do that thing now? Right? Like, of course, you can go do it. Right? That's I I this is this it connects with you and moves you so much. It's so powerful when you make it about helping others. How can you not go do it? The other thing that I do for me, running. Like, I running sets me free. Running makes me feel, like, invincible. Having that soundtrack playing that, you know, really makes me feel my most powerful self. By the end of a run for me, if I can go out, I'm not always able to do it right because I I'm busy at work. I'm in another state or I I can't you know, I don't have that luxury. But if I am at home, some people like you, but, like, what is that thing for you? Maybe it's spending time with your baby. Like, you've gotta understand for yourself when do you feel you're most confident, when do you feel you're most vibrant, and then you need to activate that when you feel your lowest. It's just tactical. Like, it's just implementing those strategies that work for you when you need them most. And you know what I can do right now is kinda make that list. Because when you're in the slump, it's hard to picture life out of the slump. But if we can write a note to our future slumpy selves alright. Here's one from Jackson. And, Jackson, you had almost the same question I did. So here's another one for you. And the question is, do you believe oh, so many are coming in now that I have to keep scrolling. Do you believe you do the job before you get the role? How did you make that serve you and not let yourself become a yes person? So, like, we talk a lot about promotions here at GirlsClub. Right? Like, we are how long should you do the role before you get the promotion? And how do you balance that with being a yes person who's being taken advantage of? What do you mean? How do I know. Right? You gotta start doing it and proving it before you get the job. No. Oh my gosh. No. Never. I would I would never. And that's you know what's so funny? I, I had an inquiry call. I have I have different coaching programs, group coaching. And so an inquiry call came in yesterday. I could take it. I took it myself. I'm on the phone with this guy. I'm explaining to me. At the end, he says, Heather, how about this? Why don't I show up for the first, group coaching class for free? And then if I like it, I'll sign. I said, absolutely not. Like, clearly, you don't understand my value proposition, my friend. I wish you the best, but I don't I don't give away my talent and my effort. Like, my energy, my expertise is expensive. It's valuable, and so is yours. You don't just say people will treat you the way you teach them to. If you say I'm gonna go do the job for free because that's what I'm worth, then that's how they're gonna treat you. Right? So you need to have a conversation with someone, and the best way that I would do to this, When you're selling somebody, you need to put yourself in their shoes. You need to understand their fears, their needs, their challenges. Work through in your mind what would that conversation look like. Map out how you can make them the hero of the story. This is exactly how I did it when I pitched the president of the company on a job that didn't exist. Right? I went to see him. I said, listen. You can see my track record since I've been here. I've been overperforming overperforming, and I've overdelivered on every challenge you've given me, every goal it had. I'm batting a thousand. Here's what I want you to know. I can bat a thousand for the entire company. Let me walk you through what that looks like, and let me walk you through why the shareholders are gonna love it, why you're gonna look like the number one hero, and how I'm gonna make it so easy for you. Do you wanna hear it? Yeah. Heather, I wanna hear it. Great. Let me talk to you about that. I talked about the strategy. At the end, he's like, you know what? Love it, but, I don't think that we can move forward. That's great. I understand. I left that meeting, and I started dialing to get another job. I'm like, I'm out of here. If you don't see my value, I've shared it to you in a way where you're winning. It's basically no risk to you. Then you know what? I'm gonna go find people that that actually do value me that do want this person leading their team. And wouldn't you know? I called him back face to face. By the way, do not email people. Do not text message. When you want to be able to face with people and I met him face to face, and it turns out I said, hey. I'm going to give you one more chance. Would you like to implement that strategy and position that we, discussed last time? He said, no. I don't. I said, great. I'm resigning then right now, and I appreciate you. Thank you. It was great working with you. And he's like, what do you mean? Be right back. And he left the restaurant, came back five minutes later, and he said, I'd like to offer you the newly created position of VP of sales. And I said, where in the world did you just go? And he said, I had to call the CEO my father because I wasn't empowered to make that decision. So that's another great reminder for you. Never take a no from someone who can't give you a yes. Qualify decision makers on the front end. Say, Jim, if this is I've got this great idea for you. I'm setting up for massive success like you've never had before. Is there anyone else you would need to be in the room for this presentation in order to discuss a promotion at the end of the conversation. I'd like to make sure we have all of the stakeholders in the room because this is really gonna blow you away. And so you're qualifying in the front end. Don't waste your time if people can't pull the trigger. Oh, that was good. Okay. So I wanna highlight something really important in that. You went in and said, here's how I bet at a thousand. But the part you did that was extra that I don't see enough people do is, like you said, what's gonna make it a home run for him? And here's how you're gonna look like a hero, and here's how you're gonna present it to the board. You thought about who does he have to sell it to, and what is his driver? Right? Here's how it's gonna make you money. But for him, you knew. Here's how it's gonna make you look like a hero. And, love it. I think that's really, really smart. Alright. Next question I wanna ask is, you've talked about firing people and firing companies, and I love that. Right? Like, I absolutely got through seasons of breakups with people as well. Those energy vampires, gotta go. Give us some tips and tricks about how you, Heather, assess whether a person or a company or a situation is worth your time and energy. Yeah. I mean, listen. Here's the thing. Like, there's always gonna be risk. Right? So, whether you're starting a new company with a friend and you don't know how that's gonna pan up, you always need to trust yourself. The thing that I look for are, people are ethical. They're good people. People that I'd wanna work with to begin with. Right? Like, you don't wanna work with negative people who aren't ethical. Like, that's a fail. But if there's red flags, run. Do not continue down that path, whether that's a relationship, a job, partnership, whatever. So one yeah. Do business with good people, like, people that you like, that I wanna like what I do. I wanna be having fun at what I do, and I want people who are like mine. They don't have to be just like me. No. But they need to be ethical people showing up doing good business and interested in succeeding and helping others. Identify that there's a real business there. Right? Like, I test and try things on social media all the time to find out, like, is there any validity to this? Is there a need in the marketplace for this? Like, I I look for all those things on the front end. That will just save you time versus going down a wrong path, you know, beforehand. You wanna speak to other people and do your homework. So if you're looking at a certain company, investigate it. Find people that work there. It's so easy with AI and social media now. Right? Like, have conversations with people. You don't wanna just force a job to have a job. Find out if it's the right culture for you. Are you the right fit for that? Like, there's so much you can do ahead of time to save yourself the time and energy of getting somewhere, but the reality is this. If you're in a situation, you're being, you know, spoken down to, you're not being treated fairly or nicely or ethically. Those are people that need to be fired from your life. And it doesn't mean there's not another company in that same industry where you might be a fit, but you probably know that answer. Right? Like, I had a a coaching call with a woman yesterday, and she said, I'm not I'm just not clear. I'm not clear. I'm not that's BS. You are a 100% clear. What is it that you like to do? I like to mentor people and develop people and get them promoted. Great. So you have two options. You can either start your side hustle. We're gonna do this for yourself, or you can go find another company that's gonna hire you to do it. She goes, oh, I don't wanna work in corporate anymore. Okay. That's you want your clarity. Fire corporate America and start hiring and investing in yourself. Yeah. What I'm getting from what you said is that so often we know. Right? We're just not practiced enough in listening to ourselves, and we're not taking action on what our gut's telling us. Right? So I love that. Alright. From Rick, how do you control the fear in that moment when you have to be assertive? Right? Like, that's a perfect follow-up question. I get it. I figured it out. I need to quit you. Oh my god. The knot in my stomach just hit. What do you do? Yeah. I mean, channel that person that you know that would handle it like a beast. Like, see that person. Think about how they would practice it in your mind. Right? Like, put the reps in. Remind yourself of another time you felt scared to do something, but you lived through it. Like, I remind myself in my TEDx talk all the time. I'm like, oh, I killed that thing. Oh, I was having panic attacks. Why will this be any different? It won't. Right? The more you start believing that and looking at past examples in your life as future proof of what's gonna happen, the more you start rocking it and the more you step into it. And the more you you really, you know, stand up for yourself and do those things as a badass version of you that you really are, the more it becomes easy, and then it's just part of the course for you. K. So I remember a time I get it. Remind me I can do hard things, then get on my Sasha Fierce, Rick. That's that's for you, buddy. I like that. Okay. That you and we just have to do it, like you said. Right? Fear means go and go faster. Yeah. And not something that I wasn't. Away at your confidence. Not doing it is the epic fail. Just do it. Not doing it's the fail. I love that. Jax, I'm looking at your goosebumps, Giffen. You're cracking me up. Valentina, I like this question a lot. Do you think men approach confidently confidence differently than women? And if so, like, what can we learn from that to inspire our own growth? Yeah. The greatest example that I'm seeing in real time is my son is doing this TEDx, and he's not fearful at all. He's not questioning himself at all. And the other young ladies that it's a number of teens from 15 to 18, and the the young ladies are having panic attacks and freaking out and doubting themselves, and two of the girls dropped out. And the reality is our culture, our society has been set up in a way where, you know, women are pitted against each other and constantly not pretty enough, smart enough, and men just they're not being raised that way or that they're not getting the messaging from media. So we have to become our own app. Like, we have to train ourselves. We have to run that tape in our mind because we don't wanna accept the one that's coming in for us, and we have to make that decision. Like, hey. Enough's enough. I don't like how I'm showing up today. I'm gonna do something to change it. I'm gonna start showing up and I'm gonna invest in myself. I'm gonna hire the coach. I'm gonna join the program. I'm gonna start surrounding myself with people who are advocates for me. I'm gonna start skipping the line and and figuring out the hacks to get ahead. I'm not gonna wait for someone to hand it to me. Or, like, there's no prince charming coming for me. I'm the prince charming. Like, let's go. I'm gonna start doubling down on me, betting on me, and watching how this pays dividends. I like that you mentioned that comparison because I think, sadly, that has a lot to do with who we've been and who we've become. We do compare ourselves to others. We've been brought up that way. Right? And it's not just in social media, it's in business, and it's all kinds of different places. And I don't think that men have that gene. Like, it's just, yep, I'm here, and, of course, I deserve this thing. I'm not gonna try to find and make a list of of 20 people who deserve it more than me. Yeah. It's just it's very simple. You know, it's they say that we say 10 times more words a day than men. Somewhere around that. I'm sure I just messed up the statistic. Sadly, right, 80% of talk is of self talk is negative. Our words are messing us up in this way. Right? We're too busy with it, and that's just a bummer. Alright. I'm gonna wrap us up, but most important thing I'm gonna do is put a link in here right now. Folks, you can get more Heather. Everybody wants more Heather. Am I right? So she has all kinds of really awesome programs, but the one that's happening next is about going beyond networking. Networking is for amateurs, she says, and I just think that's really cool. So take the link, hit it. Many of you in the chat said you already ran out and got her book, which is, of course, the way to do this. I'm so proud of you. All of my girls covers who showed up massively in the chat, thank you for using your voice. But mostly, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much, Heather, for being here. Amazing. Can we just give a round of applause and, right, hit it out in the chat? Wait. By the time you were on the chat, you won an award. Congrats. That's awesome. Who knew? Right? Who knew? And other GirlsClubbers did too, and that makes me so proud. Thank you, everybody. The love is pouring in. If you love this vibe, right, Jess was right. She said that in the chat. We have Heather and other thought leaders coming and inspiring us. We work on confidence and our competencies, and we've built this beautiful community, and we're forever grateful that you're part of it, Heather Monahan. I can't wait to see you again soon. Thanks for spending the hour with us. Thank you so much. Appreciate you, Lauren. I appreciate everyone here.